Don’t say sorry

Hubby was sick today, fever caused by infection. BIL sent him to ER this evening and found that he has ulcer at the back of his throat. Hubby has been going through his radiotherapy treatment for three weeks and tomorrow will be the fourth week of treatment.

He just slept and I can't sleep because I have to keep an eye on him and need to make sure lil Jo not to disturb him. I never have seen him suffering like today. We have been through some emergency situation like blood loss during his first surgery but he is not as weak as today. I can't do anything but to stay calm so that he not worries about me. He can't eat because he has been in pain (the ulcer at the throat) and I can't do anything. All I can do is to ask him think positive.

This is our conversation an hour ago before he goes to bed. We were sitting on the couch because he wants to warm up his body before going to bed in the air condition room. Thank God, lil jo going to bed earlier tonight so I can accompany Hubby lie down on the couch.

Hubby: I'm so sorry BB..."

(I did not reply him immediately, and then I told him.)

Me: "If I'm the one who sick and you take care of me and lil Jo, and then I say sorry to you. What would you think?"

Hubby: .....

Me: "Don't say sorry because I am your wife." and I love you.

Hubby I love you, you still young and you can fight it.

Then I help him going to the bed. He feels cold until I can felt that he was shaking.....I am so sad when I see him in pain and can't do a thing to cure him. All I can do is to hug him tightly; tight till he can feel my body warm...that's all I can do until he falls asleep.

I never cry ever since he starts his chemotherapy treatment 2 months ago and I can't believe there was tears came out from my eyes now. He always the one to tell me think at the bright side.

Hubby, if you read this, do not worry, you know I am just too emotional (sometime). J

Love,

Joey